A (Educational) Week in the Life

So the Thursday before last I asked you guys for prayer. Here's what that week looked like now that I have the time to tell you:

Saturday: (the back story)
   "Kay, you want to come look at this floor?"
   No not really, since you asked... I stole a glance at Jay. That one brow raised in true HOH-y style. Dang. I followed him into our office/everything storage room. Yep, paper was strewn everywhere. It was clear our son had had a blast being where he wasn't supposed to be allowed. Oops.
   "This is unacceptable," my husband informed me.
   "Okay. I'm sorry he was in here, I'll clean it up right away!" I amended quickly, as submissively as I could muster.
   "Yes you will," Jay said. "But not just what's on the floor. Kay, you have no excuse for this room to look this way. And I'm tired of being patient, to see if you'll do it on your own. It's clear you need motivation. So I'm giving you til the end of the weekend to avoid a serious spanking."
    Eek! "What?!!"
   "I expect every paper put into a labeled folder and orderly placed in the filing cabinets I got you, that, look at that, are still empty! I expect every box emptied and and the objects put in a permanent place. And I don't want to see a single bin in here. I want all those gone."
   Well, bye submissiveness! Nice knowin' ya..."Wait, Jay! That's not fair! I need those bins, that's how I organize! Like for my keepsakes, that's how I keep them together. And the other stuff is important too, including some of yours! There's no where to put them!"
   "You heard me!" Ugh, hate that phrase! It's a clear sign to me that he's already made his decision and arguing is futile. Grrr! My husband continued, "I have full confidence in you that using all the shelves at your disposal that I put in there, and those organizing caddies, you will figure out a way."
   "But that's a LOT of work! I can't do it, Jay! That time frame is not even close to long enough." I could feel it taking over me. My stubbornness coping mechanism when I don't like something, when I don't think I can do it, and when I just want to quit, even before I begin. My man knows it well. "I might as well not try at all!" I muttered.
   Jay just sighed, grimaced, and met me head on. "Well, I guess you can just go down to the bedroom and drop your pants right now then. I was trying to be nice, and give you time to make it right, but if you don't want it, we'll just take care of things now."
   I stared, open-mouthed, not exactly liking this prospect.
   Jay mouth tipped, amused at the sudden change in my demeanor. "No? Okay then, let's review this. We moved in here almost six months ago. You had three months to get this house in order, and almost 6 months later there are still things in boxes and bins. That's unacceptable. I got you filing cabinets, I put in shelves, you no longer have any excuse. And still you haven't done it. You deserve to be punished now, and not a light spanking either. But I punished you for the bedroom already, so instead I'm giving you til the end of the weekend, because I'm nice, and I actually want to see you achieve this."
   "Okay, yes, you're nice, and yes, you're right," I conceded. "But Jay, I spent all last weekend working on stuff! It was so hard! Honey, can't you understand that I need the weekends to recharge? I need to spend time with you! Tomorrow you know I have to work, so today I just want to rest and be with my husband. And besides, this is such a huge task! I'll work really hard starting Monday, but can't I have til Friday night, please?"
   "Nope, Monday night maybe!"
   "Hon, I can't get it done by then!"
   "Well then, give me a better offer!"
   "Friday!"
   "Kay, I don't want the rest of the house to turn into a cesspool of disaster while you're working on this, which is exactly what we both know will happen, if you have 'til then. So I'd rather make sure you're getting it done during the first part of the week."
   "Well what if...I commit to maintaining the house all week in addition? Then will you give me til Friday night?"
   "Yeah I'll agree to that. But you need to understand what you are agreeing to: that while I don't expect the house to be spotless, I do expect it to be moderately maintained. I also expect our rules still to be followed: our son's bedtime, eating, dinner, all of it. And Kay, if I don't see that happening, then you know what to expect. I'm not bending on this or being lenient at all. So...you sure?"
  Gulp. "Yes! Deal!"

After he left to do other things, I looked around. It wasn't mainly cleaning, it was organizing. Something I really struggle with. It seemed like an impossible task. This room isn't just an office with papers galore that needed to be sorted through, it's an everything storage room. Home decor stuff I haven't been able to put up yet. Keepsakes, cards, craft stuff (I worked at a stamp and scrapbooking store one summer), books, pictures and more pictures...you name it. How was I ever going to get this done by even Friday? Could it even be done within a month? Ugh! 


Sunday: Worked and didn't get home til late, of course. We did listen to "Love and Respect" though, and discussed it, in preparation for the coming week. He said trying my best was a way of showing him that respect, but also love too. I told him to please give me lots of encouragement, as this was like asking him to write a thesis, and he needed to understand that. We both agreed to do our best for each other.


Monday: I started on this momentous task, really intending to do well. Monday night: Big Ouch. Don't you love when they know you've done one thing wrong, and while you're in position, they start grilling you about other things for the day? I focused on the office, and nothing else. I didn't eat almost the whole day, didn't get our son to bed on time, didn't get a few other things done he asked me to do. Oh, and I let my frustration get the best of me, so I'm sure I was there for attitude too. Ugh! But I did do my best on the office, even though it looked like a way bigger mess than before. So he gave me sweet encouragement about that, and reaffirmed to me that I could do it. He also didn't ground me from electronics, which he had warned me would happen if he didn't see progress. Phew!


Tuesday: Did better. At least on everything else. Except I failed to notice the time and let our son's bedtime slip by unnoticed. Big oops. That's a repeat offense. And the second day in a row. Eek. The office...well I succeeded in creating lots of piles. Or something, I'm not really sure. It honestly just looked like a gigantic mess by the end of the night.


Wednesday: Worked all day, and didn't get home til late. Of course, Jay expected nothing from me that day. It was a tough day anyway, and he was extra sweet. I tried to use the opportunity to gauge if maybe just maybe he'd be a little lenient come Friday night, but it didn't work. Dang.


Thursday: I looked around, and seriously just felt sick. Since I hadn't been there the day before, the kitchen was a mess. So I knew I needed to get that at least moderately in order. But the office...you might as well had told me to go swim the Pacific Ocean to China, for all the confidence that I had I could do it. I seriously just wanted to quit. Crawl into bed and forget about responsibilities. Or better yet, go immerse myself in an extra happy movie. Just not think about the obviously inevitable. After I talked to a friend who encouraged me, after seeing pics, that I could do it, that it wasn't an impossible quest (thank you, you!), I agreed to trudge on. Keep trying no matter what. But it was still hard. That's where you all came in, and sent your comments, and emails, and prayers. Thank you, really, I mean that. I got a lot done that night. More than I thought possible. And I actually ended the night pretty darn proud of myself and hopeful.


Friday: I confess I hit a snag. My husband decided to take the day off work. But said the deadline remained. Cue major attitude from me! If he's here, I want to be with him, spending time with him, not working on a stupid task! I admit it, I was extremely disrespectful, oh, numerous times. I was acting like a little kid. I didn't even want to work on that stupid office anymore, you know, just to make a statement. A friend tried to help me see the error of my ways, "R you CRAZY???????????????????????????????" I think was her exact phrase. But I didn't want to listen. I continued to work on organizing everything, but my disposition was not exactly sunniness and smiles. My efforts were half-hearted at best. Oh, and I think I did stop and watch a TV show. To say Jay was upset about my attitude was an understatement. Because he now has "Love and Respect" terminology to refer to, he explained how my actions were making him feel. Then he handled it. Yes, that way. It was quick, very to the point. And oh so effective. He also reiterated the importance of getting this done, so possibly we could go out that night, and get away for a few hours. How he wanted to be with his wife tonight. What that amounted to, though, was that he actually wanted me done earlier than the time he would have gotten off work, which was another reason I had had an attitude.
Had he gone to work, I would have had another over an hour and a half to finish. Of course, now that I had my head on straight, I could see that there was another way to handle the situation besides having an attitude and pouting. So since I'm big on justice and ever the negotiator, I went to him and explained my case. He listened. His response? "Well yeah, you can have that long, if you don't want to go anywhere!"
Okay, here's the dilemma of the century! Would I undergo a horrible ouchie punishment for a chance to go out to a movie with my husband? Or would I trudge on to make sure I went to bed snuggly and pain-free? Hmmm let me think...tough decision...(yes, just in case you didn't know, my words are dripping with sarcasm!).
A couple minutes to the time he wanted me done, I noticed there was no way I was going to make the deadline before he wanted us to leave. But I knew he really wanted to go to that movie, and I did too. So I when I came in to tell me my time was up, I offered another deal I knew he wouldn't want to pass up. I would stop immediately, we would go out and enjoy ourselves, and I would get an hour and a half on Saturday to finish. He agreed.
And we had a great time (mostly, anyway--yes you know who, that's for you, ha!). Well, the movie was not exactly my type. But it was still fun, definitely what we needed, just time with each other.


Saturday: Only like with one minute to spare before he came in, but I FINISHED!
   As he hugged me, Jay laughed, "See, told you you could do it! Now was that so hard?"
   "Umm...YES!" Geez...men!

Oh, and that night, I went to bed snuggly and pain-free. Yay!:)

And more than a week later, looking around, it's still organized, and everything has a place. It actually does feel good, I can admit it. Oh, I mentioned the week was educational, so I should probably tell you what I learned. 'Cause I also sort of need to review that for this week. Being that my current task is so daunting it makes the office look easy. It's something I've been avoiding on purpose (also should have been done six months ago), and not just because of possible spiders that might be lurking in that room. So here I go, again, my pep talk to myself: That I can do a lot more than I think I can.That even though it seems like an impossible task, I can't give up. That I can do it, and I just need to believe that..no matter what.

Okay, time to get back to work. ;)