I Cry Foul!

I'm sitting tenderly right now.  I know I have no one to blame but myself, but I still cry foul. And I'm upset enough about it that I had to put aside the post I was working on at the time, and write this one.

I haven't blogged in awhile, mainly because I've been busy, but also because nothing super interesting has happened lately. So I was busy today writing a post about how things have changed since TTWD, when my husband came in.

Jay had brought dinner (such a sweet guy!), and had called me away from the computer to come eat. I came into the kitchen to get some food, and that's when Jay and I began talking.

"So you're using the other baby formula, now, huh?" he asked.

"No, Hon, but I combine it with the other one so it doesn't affect his tummy. We need to switch over, but I've still got that last can-" I looked around, not seeing it. "Crap! Where is it? Did I lose it too?" I began searching around frantically.

"No, I combined it in the big one. And that one is just about gone. I don't think we even have enough for one more bottle."

"Oh no!  I didn't know that!" Arrgh! You couldn't let me know this before now?

"Well, I just went to the store, and you didn't tell me we needed formula, so I guess you better get going, because I'm not going back."

GRRRrrrrrr.  I didn't want to go! It wasn't my fault, he didn't tell me that was the last of it. And plus, I hate driving! I had eye surgery when I was little that messed up my depth perception, and between that and my ADD, it's not good when I'm on the road anyway. So I avoid it whenever I can.  "Well, I'm not doing it! You should do it, because you knew there was nothing left, and didn't tell me."

"How about this? I can just go get a hotel, and you can listen to him scream all night because YOU won't get him food."

Yeah, uh huh. I managed to roll my eyes only inwardly at his obvious bluff. "Well, then--," I thought for a moment, "I'll just leave him outside your hotel room door."

"Yeah, how are you going to know where I am?" he said, laughing. Then he got serious. "You need to go get him formula right now, or you're going to be in trouble."

"But that's not fair! I shouldn't have to! You should have seen it was low, I'm not the only one that should have to keep track of that all the time!"

"I'm not asking if it's fair, or who's fault it was. I'm just telling you to obey me. I want you to go outside right now, and pick up the formula."

"No!" Go ahead and try to make me, you big jerk!

"Kay, I'm not going to tell you again!" His voice was growing more serious.

Uh-oh. But I wasn't giving in. No way."Fine. That's good. Then I won't have to tell you again that I'm not doing it! You do it!"

"Then go to the bedroom!"

"No!" I know, I apparently had a temporary leave of my faculties. I'm usually more submissive when I've crossed the line. But not tonight. I stiffened, and turned up my chin, clear body language to let him know I wasn't backing down.

"Go to the bedroom NOW!"

I stomped into the bedroom. "Fine! I'm in the bedroom," I quipped, with a smirk, leaning against the dresser, my arms crossed.

"On your stomach." Oh, that's what you mean!

I watched him take out the paddle, and my frivolity instantly died.

"Hurry up. Lay down."

"Just lay down?" I said, hopefully.

"Nope, you know what you're supposed to do."

Dang. I lowered my pants. I tried to keep my bravery, tried to even keep my attitude, but wasn't succeeding very well. I tried instead to concentrate on his words to ignore my fear. "Don't roll over," he was saying. "Or it will be double."

I gritted my teeth, and held onto him. He stopped at ten. "Are you going to listen?"

I hesitated. "I'm not going!"

"Okay, back over you go."

"No, wait, I-"

"You're going to leave right now?"

I hesitated again. "No, but I'm going to use the other formula. I mixed some of the other in there anyway! I think it will be fine!"

"Either you walk out that door and get the formula, or you're getting another round. And I'm going to continue to spank you until you listen. So however much you want, it's your choice. But you will listen to me!"

I know I can be stubborn sometimes, but I'm not stupid. I knew I was beaten, and I'm not going to endure more of the paddle than I absolutely have to. I got up, but I couldn't resist glaring at him, as I changed from the sweatpants I was wearing into my jeans.

"I never said you have to change," he commented. "I just told you to obey me."

"Well, I'm not going to the grocery store in these sweatpants!"

"Lots of women do that. I see women do it all the time."

"Yeah, well, not these. Just leave me alone, okay?" I don't even want to say the very un-Christian, unsubmissive thoughts I was thinking.

"Just so you know, there's a time limit. You have ten minutes to get out that door."

It took all I could do to not mutter obscenities. But I didn't. I got ready, then went to him. "Can I please have the bank card," I said, through gritted teeth, trying to keep my voice respectful.

"Why don't you walk outside like I told you to do originally, and then if you still need the card you can come back in and get it," Jay said.

It suddenly dawned on me what an idiot I'd been. I shook my head at my denseness, and walked out the door. Sure enough, there stood the formula he had bought earlier, sitting right next to the door. I grabbed it, and brought it in, giving him a glare, but a little more playful this time. I had to give the guy credit. I'd been had.

Jay was grinning at me like a Cheshire cat. "I told you to walk out the door and get the formula," he said. Then he hugged me to him. "All I asked you to do was what I asked. Had you done it immediately, you would have walked outside and all this would have been avoided. But no, you had to fight me."

"I know, I'm sorry." I felt like a complete dumbass. I guess that's what I get for not submitting.

"I really, really didn't want to spank you. But you forced my hand, because you just wouldn't listen."


Okay, I get it. Totally my fault. I should have listened. But c'mon, that was sneaky. So I still cry foul.