My Conniving, Devious HOH (Part 1)

Have you heard the phrase, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely?" Well I believe it! And if you don't, I have a great example to show you. The first of many, in fact. Because somebody around here has been getting a little too comfortable with all his power. And it's getting dangerous! For me!

I love my Jay. Really, I do. He's an amazing husband: passionate, loving, wonderful sense of humor, and wow, model hot! But lately I've been having very unsubmissive thoughts--like how great it would be to tie him down and paddle him! Or pour the precious Dr Pepper he's always drinking over his head! Heh heh heh. Or I could...well, I could go on, but I don't want you to think too badly of me. Really, though, this one is on him! He's done some things, and I want revenge, dang it! And once you hear, I don't think you'll blame me. Because not only is the guy embracing his role of HOH, he's starting to take pleasure in it. I kid you not! I don't even know who this guy is! He used to be so predictable! Umm...not anymore! Now, he's getting wicked creative! He's always been good at being devious--I already knew that. But now, he is putting those skills to use on the DD front! Ugh!

So a few days ago, we were traveling in the truck, and since we've been so busy and I've had no time, I decided I should get caught up on reading blogs. So I'm doing this on my phone as he's driving, and I came upon the new post from Stormy at Shelter in the Storm. It was her Stormy's New Top Ten post about ways to avoid spankings. And of course, because our friend Stormy is absolutely hilarious, it wasn't long before I was giggling.

Jay cocked an eyebrow. "What are you snickering at?" he asked. "Texting again?"

"No," I answered, not bothering to think. "I'm reading Stormy's blog." Can anyone please remind me not to say the first thing that comes to my head always? Confound my ADD!

"Really? What's it about?" Yes, I know, I know, Chance #2 here! I could have said a billion things, but nope! "Her new list to get out a spanking," I answered, without hesitation.

Now taking a moment here, in my defense of my seeming stupidity, my husband doesn't read blogs. He couldn't care less. So I was innocent here, an unsuspecting lamb being led to the slaughter. I had no reason to hide anything from him. Sure, he'd gained an idea once or twice before, but the chances of him actually caring now were slim to none. Or, yeah, so I thought! Boy, was I wrong!

"Okay, read it aloud."

I turned and stared at him. "What?!"

"Read it aloud right now, from start to finish."

"But-but Hon, this type of thing is no HOH's allowed! You can't ask me-"

"I'm not asking. I'm telling you, as your HOH." He took one look at my face, and continued, "so if you don't it's...direct disobedience." He drew the word out with dark meaning.

"You'd spank me over not reading a blog," I reiterated in disbelief.

"Yep," Jay replied, matter-of-factly.


I studied his features. Yeah, he was smirking. But joking? No way! So I read it, as he asked.

Which, after recovering from laughing, he proceeded, in a very HOH manner, to dissect for similarities on how I weasel out of things. Were there things he was able to identify? Of course there were! Great minds think alike, right? And with him, due to my evil cleverness, mwahhaha, a lot of those actually work, worded in just the right way. Well I should say, did work. Because not anymore! Since then, I've had to hear how "that particular manipulation is not going to fly anymore, Kay! In fact, now you're in more trouble!" Again and again. Yup. My excuses not only don't fly anymore, they don't even leave the ground (Where's some Red Bull when you need it? Because there's new wings needed here...),

And oh yeah. He especially liked the bribery one. As in, he used it to get something he wanted! No joke! Not that I wasn't going to give in anyway, and yeah, I got a great deal out of it too, but c'mon, principle here! Hath he no shame?! 

So anyway, clipped wings and unraveled loopholes. But the damage doesn't stop there. Oh no, my friend. You'll have to wait though... :)