A New Tactic--Bribery?

My husband changed a major policy in our house. I'd like to say it was because of my suave negotiating skills. But for this one, I can't claim credit. He did this on his own. Shocked me, even. Why he decided this, I don't know. Maybe desperate times call for desperate measures? I will say it's effective. Let me explain.

A few days ago, I was busy cleaning the kitchen when Jay walked in the door, after a long day at work. As he always did, he came in and kissed me. Then, without saying a word, he made a conspicuous show of presenting a bottle in a paper bag, and depositing it in the refrigerator, with a side-long glance at me to make sure I was watching.

I saw what he was doing, but I couldn't resist. "What's that?" I asked, intrigued.

"THAT...", my husband said, in an HOHy tone, "is none of your concern." His voice was stern, but his eyes were full of mischief.

I took one look at his face, and dove for it. I just couldn't resist! Yeah, I know, I know, I'm pretty predictable, you'd think I'd never heard the expression that curiosity killed the...oh never mind. ;) Anyway, he also knows that I'm predictable. Yup. Jay's expression told me that I was doing exactly what he hoped for. Of course I could tell he had planned this! But I didn't care. I wanted to know what it was!

I pulled it out. A bottle of imported Chocolate Cherry Wine. What? Had my dear husband taken leave of his senses? He'd actually brought alcohol into this house? Had aliens taken over his mind? Weird. But oh, it looked yummy! "Oh wow, Hon, thank you!" I breathed.

"That's not for you, that's mine," Jay answered, smirking.

I shook my head at him. "Uh huh," I answered, skeptically.


"Well, only a wife that's doing what she's supposed to be doing gets to enjoy sweet amazingly wonderful chocolate cherry wine," he answered, drawing his words out to purposefully.

His eyes bored deep into mine, as it dawned on me what he was doing. "I did! See? I've been working on the kitchen, and did you see the living room?" I asked, thanking God that I'd been able to motivate myself to get some stuff done that day.

"Yeah, but you were a little bit flippant on the phone, and I don't know, we'll just see how the night goes."

"Okay, I'm sorry about that...I'll be a perfect angel the rest of the night, just please, can I have some? Please, please, please?" I asked, with my best innocent face.

"We'll see." Jay said, with finality. "For now, we need to eat." I obeyed instantly. I answered everything he told me to do, and I only spoke respectfully.

A few hours later, Jay handed me my full wine glass. It was was wonderful! Massively sweet and chocolatey, wow!

"Kay, look at me," he said. He waited until he had my attention. "You like it?"

"Yeah, thanks so much!"

"Good. So here's the deal," he said, "You can have up to a glass a day until it's gone. But only if you're good." He continued, "and only one glass--I determine the size--" he interjected quickly (due to an experience I still have to tell you about in another post). "Now if you've been really fighting me, not listening, and not doing what you're supposed to, I may be actually pouring that glass anyway and then pouring it down the drain."

"Honey, that's wasting it, though!"

"Well, this kind of wine doesn't keep long anyway. It's not going to last if it sits in the fridge, either. Besides, pouring it out in front of you will get my point across. This isn't about wine, it's about you. And just remember, if I have to pour it out, it's YOU choosing to waste it, not me. You have the choice based on what you do. Got it?"

"Well, okay, Hon." I paused for a moment. I felt a moment of elation. This, I've got to say, was motivation to behave. And if I messed up, well, at least this was what I'd get, instead of a spanking! But it still felt like a dream. My husband? Bribing me with alcohol? Was I in a twilight zone? I had to be impressed though. And find out why he was doing this! "Jay, wow, gotta hand it to you, but where'd you come up with this?"

He shrugged. "Just did." He grinned. "I needed something to get your attention. I actually think this could work!"

"It will, it will! See? I'm feeling angelic already! Positive reinforcement is way better than the negative kind, you know. It's way more effective." I was liking this direction, and wanted to encourage it!

Jay laughed. "Oh, you think I'm doing this instead of spanking. Cute. And no. This is in addition. So look at it this way, now you have two motivations to behave."

Well there went that happy dream! But still, I gotta say the guy's a clever devil. I've been relatively well-behaved lately. Oh, and what am I doing right now? Sipping a wine glass full of yummy sweet chocolate cherry goodness.... :D