The Times Are A-Changin'

Well-meaning friends tried to warn me. I didn't listen. They said to be prepared for the inevitable. I laughed it off. I mean, Jay doesn't read--anything! He hates it, he'd probably put it one level above being shark repellent; he doesn't find it fun, or enjoyable, or even informative. So the idea of him actually reading about Domestic Discipline online, and getting ideas from what others do was absolutely unthinkable!

Or so I thought.

*       *       *

I messed up pretty badly on Friday. I was consumed with getting ready for work that coming weekend, and I let it show in my attitude, not to mention that I didn't complete my tasks for the day, wasn't listening, procrastinated in telling him what we needed to do that night in preparation for my work, forgot the diaper bag...well, I could go on, but you get the point, it wasn't a good day. It was one of those days that proves that sometimes when it rains, it pours.

Understandably, Jay was upset. And, he made sure there was no question I knew what the consequence would be. That it would be a biggie. "Things are about to get pretty hard for you, I think." he said.

The way he said it though made me especially pause. "You mean later tonight?" I asked.

"Both tonight and in general, too. I've been doing some thinking. But yeah, you deserve what you get tonight."

"But Jay, you know I have to work tomorrow, and it will be really hard to do that sore!"

My husband gave me a look that made me cringe."You should have thought of that earlier today, huh? Do you know how badly you messed up today?"

"Yeah, I do," I said quietly.

"Do you?" he asked. "Because I want to make absolutely sure you know what you did wrong."

"Believe me, I know, Hon," I answered. "I know I messed up big-time, and I'm sorry."

"So tell me what you did wrong so I know you know." I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off. "Better yet, why don't you sit down and write it."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. I want you to sit down right now and write down both a list of everything you've done wrong today, and why I'm going to be spanking you for each of those things. I'm going to take a shower, and then we'll talk afterward."

In past circumstances, I would have wondered if he was kidding. This one, however, left no doubt in my mind about his seriousness. I obeyed. I have to admit, writing it out does make one think!

After his shower, I handed the paper to Jay. "I'll postpone it for tonight," he said. "But," he clarified, "I may still do it tomorrow night. It depends on your attitude."

"Can I possibly redeem myself if I'm super, super good?" I asked.

He chuckled, then turned to me in all seriousness. "Weaseling again?" the look he gave me made me backpedal fast, apologizing furiously. "Not this time, Kay. Don't even think about it."

"Okay, okay, sorry, shouldn't have said that. And thanks for postponing it."

Jay leaned over and gave me a kiss. "So what made you come up with the crazy idea of making me write everything down?" I asked. "Was that something you had to do as a kid or something?"

"Yeah, that's it," Jay said, with a small smile. His tone, though, made it clear he was hiding something.

"Okay, really, the truth now."

"The truth is, I have my ways. And that's all you need to know."

I nodded, then joined him in bed. But as I lay cuddled in his arms, there was a thought that gnawed at me, and as much as I wanted it to go away, to say it was too silly a possibility to even entertain, this thought seriously would not be silenced. "Jay?" I asked into the darkness. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"Will you answer me truthfully?"

"Yes, Kay, what is it?"

I mustered my courage to ask the question I dreaded to hear the answer to."Um...have you been reading online?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Well, it's just what you said earlier about things getting harder soon, and I don't know...my friends have been saying...dang it, just be honest with me! Tell me a yes or no!"

"Hmmm...not sure if I'm going to answer that." I could feel him smiling through the darkness.


Meanie! "Well I mean, I didn't think you would because you don't read-"

"Kay, I can read! I just don't like to, unless it's like a manual, something I can apply."

Okay, somehow that does not comfort me! "Well, I know you can, Hon, I meant you just don't like to. And finding info about this particular topic isn't easy anyway--" I hedged.

My husband laughed. "What do you mean it isn't easy? Of course it's easy! All you have to do is Google the words "Domestic Discipline" and there's pages and pages of stuff! I may hate reading, but I'm not an idiot, Kay!"

Well, that answered that question! And OMG, all my worst fears confirmed!  "That's not what I mean! There's a lot of misinformation out there! Like really scary sites! You have to know what to look for!"

"Okay, Sweetie," Jay responded, in a playfully condescending tone.


"So you have been reading then? What have you been reading? And when? I've never seen you get on the computer!"

"Well, I gotta do something with the hours of time I'm bored at work every day!"

Hours?!! What can he learn in hours! Oh, I'm so dead! "So what have you been reading?"

"That's for you to know if and when I decide to use the things I've read," he said.

Grrrrrrrr! I have to know! "Just please tell me what you've been reading!" I pleaded, sweetly.

"Stuff," Jay responded.

HOH's! Ugh! "Honey, I need to know!" I said, exasperated.

"You're making my mouth hurt from smiling so wide," Jay commented. He wrapped his arms around me. "Oh Sweetie," he chuckled. "Don't worry, I promise we'll discuss it when I decide we need to change things. For now, don't worry about it. It's just if we need it. Although I do highly suggest you be good, so maybe I don't have to go there, okay? Now go to sleep. Not another word."

Minutes later, I heard him start to snore. Me? I was wide awake! My mind raced with thoughts of everything I'd deliberately not told him, things other couples practiced that I'd laughed about because he'd never know, horrible implements, techniques, methods of correction that I'd so hate...ugh! What does he know now?! What did he mean that things were going to get harder soon?

Yup, times are a'changin around here, with dizzying speed. So um...I need to get better at those angel lessons...and fast!

And oh yeah. That's only one part of the changes around here...