Unnamed Post

I've learned a lesson, I believe a very valuable one. In between determining and actually writing a blog post, don't share it with your friends! Well, let me revise that. Maybe not a certain one of my friends! This post once upon a time had a title, a good title I must say. Now in light of the pic my friend posted, and the devious result, I refuse to put that title up there! Because, friend, that is NOT what I meant...

I have trouble sometimes with looking before I leap. And leap I do. Into very bad situations. I fly by the seat of my pants, with no thought for tomorrow. That's me, at least as far as my life in DD goes.

It's a strange thing, because, before DD, I don't think anyone would have equated innocent me with rebellion. As a child, I was incredibly obedient! As a teenager, maybe not as much, but I didn't fight with my parents! I was always known for arguing, but I rarely got in trouble for anything! I was known as the innocent church girl that always did the right thing! My conscience worked back then, apparently!

So why, oh why, now that I am fully an adult, do I seem to be a poster child for breaking the rules? Or as a friend on the Learning Domestic Discipline network put it...the resident Lady of Perpetual Trouble? I can't figure it out!

My husband, ever the guru of wisdom, had this to say: "The problem with you, Sweetie" he mused, "is that you don't think before you act or speak." Why thank you, Captain Obvious! Is that all the problem is? 

The real question I ask myself is why don't I think before I act or speak?  What happened to that conscience I used to have that whispered, "Hey Kay, that's a bad idea!" The answer? I don't know! But I'll tell you, I'd like to get that conscience back! It would definitely save a certain part of my anatomy a lot of pain!

There are those that "brat" for a spanking. I don't. I just don't think about consequences. In fact, I rarely think beyond the next five minutes. So I don't consider ramifications that my behavior may have for the very near future. I've had a friend plead with me to text her with any hair-brained schemes before I try them, so that she could see if I'm missing any glaring details of things I hadn't considered. And I'll take her up on that! But in regular life, no one and nothing can help me! Well, maybe some duct tape over my mouth occasionally...

So yeah, like I told my friend, I wish I had a Jiminy Cricket to tell me when I should know something, because obviously my conscience is asleep on its watch. Or maybe in a coma, I'm not sure. Or maybe got burned out working so hard, and is on a very extended vacation? I don't know! But yeah, I definitely need one! To give me that internal stop sign! Or maybe some neon lights flashing "danger"? To tell me that teasing my husband about being unable to spank me because we have company is not so bright. And spending all day on the computer when I'm supposed to have a clean house by the time he gets home is not to be advised either. Or that saying some very smart-mouthed comment, while momentarily satisfying, has a very painful result. I need to know these things!

Anyway, that's what my post was originally to be about. Until my friend posted a certain pic on her blog. A pic my husband happened to see, featuring Jiminy Cricket, giving, umm...a different kind of encouragement to behave. Spankos...geez! (insert rolling eyes here) The not-funny-for-me thing is, though, my husband has heard me talk about how I need a Jiminy Cricket too. My friends help me, true, but they can only be there so much. He's even teased me about it. And yeah, I've used it as a smart remark back during a why-did-you-do-it lecture. So when he saw this certain pic, he ordered me away from the computer. He proceeded to print, on sturdy paper, this pic of Jiminy...and to tape it to our um...implement for correction. Ugh!

Then with a wicked evil grin, as wide as that of the Crocodile from Peter Pan, he proclaimed, "this paddle has just been christened, 'Jiminy'!" The tape is temporary. He plans to varnish it on there.  Can I roll my eyes again?

So yeah. Real funny. Now I've got a Jiminy to make sure I obey. NOT what I meant when I said I needed one! Ugh...

And just so we're clear; if you think I'm posting a link to that pic, you're crazy! :D