Behavior Naut Approved

"Why do you fight me?" he asked me AGAIN. I don't know, Honey, but I'm pretty sure there's an underlying reason that's not my fault...hang on for a minute, I'll think of it...

I write this, sitting on a very warm bottom. I deserved it, I know that. But I so wish I didn't have to deal with this! Why can't I just be good?


Jay got a new boat. Well, new to us, anyway. He needed to fix a few things on it so we could go out on the water this past weekend, so he brought the boat up to the shop where he works to patch those things up. This is supposed to be a special time together. But nope, I have to be rebellious and sabotage everything!

It all started on the way up to the shop. Apparently, I was being too pestering. He told me to be quiet. He had a lot on his mind. Remember the Quiet Game? As a kid, I ALWAYS lost. If being quiet was the difference between life and death (or a big pile of money), bet against me every time! Why? I don't know! Things just come into my head, and they let themselves out through my mouth of their own accord! It's so annoying! 

Something about me not thinking before I say.

Tonight was no exception. "I'm thinking very seriously about whooping you at the shop." I read him for possible merriment, to signal the possibility he might be kidding (He does, sometimes). No such luck. Come on, Kay! Behave!

I started playing a game on my iphone. I got frustrated and said something. Didn't think. Jay shook his head, "You can't help yourself, can you?" 

"No, I can't! And that's why you should feel sorry for me!" He gave me The Look. I bent my head quickly, and went back to my game.

When we arrived, he told me to follow him into the shop. And it was a command. Uh oh. I did as I was told, hoping he just wanted me with him. 

It was my first time being in the boat since we'd bought it. It was nice. But then, "Sit down there on that cushion, don't move, and be quiet."

"Why?"

"Because I said to."

"But-but I don't have my phone! I need to go get it!" 

"That's not my problem. You need to sit there quietly."

"But I'll be bored!"

"Kaytlin," he said warningly. He uses my whole name when I'm one step from being in trouble.

"Please let me just go get it really quick, and then I'll be good! I promise!"

"No, you need to just sit there. Stop fighting me! Now, I don't want to hear one more word from you or else!"

I sat there, and tried to be quiet. Tried super duper hard. But I was getting antsy. And then I started noticing it was a little cold. At the time, I just wanted a jacket. But in hindsight, yeah, I totally know that I was using it as an excuse to be able to cross the line, without openly rebelling. "Jay! I need to go get my jacket!"

"What did I tell you!"

"Then could you go get it, please? I'm cold!"

"Don't worry. I'll be up there to warm you up. Just give me another minute."

That didn't sound good at all. Ominous in fact. I hoped I was wrong. But at least, I mused, he'd have to use his hand. He had no implements with him, of that I was sure. Heh, heh.

And then he was there. Carrying a block of wood as a makeshift paddle! Crap, where did he get that from? I sat quietly, studying my feet, as he arranged the boat cushions, none too gently. 

"Lie down!"

"But, Jay, I-"

"Lie down!" 

I took the hint, and shut up, whimperingly doing what I was told. It hurt. "Why do you fight me?" he asked afterwards. "I wish I knew," I sobbed. And I do.

I stayed like that for awhile, recovering, trying to understand why I do the things I do. Resolving to try harder. Both for him and for me.

Until he called me, lovingly making sure I knew why he had to follow through, making sure I was okay, that we were okay again. Then he handed me my jacket (which I no longer needed, being plenty warm now) and my phone. 

So that was my first experience being on our new boat. But I'm hopeful this weekend will be a much better one. :)