Looking at Positive Things

So many of you know that the experience at my husband's work is driving not only him, but me, absolutely ragged. Clint over at Learning Domestic Discipline, has Couples Challenges that are supposed to be done with one another to increase intimacy, and I think it's a great thing. However I'm not sure at this point we'll be able to do something like that together (Jay doesn't like to sit down and write lists for ANY reason, and I've learned not to push him too hard on things he's reluctant to do--he has to come to it on his own). But with everything going on, and how inadequate I feel to help my guy right now, I need some encouragement to help me not feel so down. And inspire me to keep strong! So I decided it would benefit me to do this just for me.

And because I'm starting to lose some of my shyness, and starting to see you as friends, I'm going to let you in on it. So guess what (cue foreboding music), you get to know a little more about me!   :)

 July's challenge is to list 10 qualities that you like about yourself and elaborate on them. So here I go:

1) Loyalty-This has always been one of Jay's biggest he's pointed out, so I put this one first. It's what most shocked him, because he'd never met someone like this before. I don't love people for what they do, I love them for who they are. Circumstances, while possibly putting a damper on things, don't determine everything. My love for others is usually unconditional. And when anyone I care about is in trouble, I am there! Whether it's small or big. I've been known to stay up all night helping friends study for midterms, or composing flashcards to make it easier. I've also been known to fly out to see a friend during a hard time. The way I see it, the talents I have I have for a reason. And if I don't use them to help others, they're wasted. So I do everything within my power to help, and I love to! And then there's my man, who I'd literally go to the ends of the earth for. And in many ways, have.

Oh, also, my loyalty also exists with other things. I love my country, and even though I may not agree with things, I'm still very patriotic. I love my city, I think it's one of the most beautiful places anywhere. I'm an enthusiastic sports fan, especially pro football. I don't give a rip about any other team, but if it's ours, you can't tear me away from the action! And of course I support my alma mater, which, though I won't tell you what school it is, I will say the mascot is a kind of dawg (and yes, that's spelled wrong on purpose, a local thing!). To me it may be what it represents more than the sport itself. And family memories, because it's always been a special thing in our family. Mainly me complaining I'd like to watch something else, but now that those days are gone, they're kind of missed. Funny how that is, huh?


2)Passion--My passion drives me! My passion for life, for love, for Jay, and to make a difference. I love the idea of making the world a happier place because I've done something to affect it. Standing up for those who can't stand for themselves, helping the helpless, even just giving an encouraging word. I defend the ideals I believe in. I have a fierce love for Jay, like a fire that will never die. It inspires me to try harder, to do better, and no matter what, never give up. And then there's my passion for God, which hopefully defines everything I do...


3) Empathy and Compassion--It's very easy for me to put my own perspective away, and see through someone else's eyes. Because of this ability, I can usually always find the good in people. More than anything else, too, I love encouraging people. I love helping them find the good in things. One of the most rewarding things I ever did was help operate a crisis line. I used to talk people out of wanting to commit suicide, show them the good in themselves that they couldn't see, and empower them to keep fighting.

I also have a respect for all things living. Though I'm not opposed to it for food purposes, I hate seeing things die. I can tell you the ten most intelligent types of animals in the world, and after studying them, they aren't just dumb beasts to me! And I love pretty much anything four-footed and furry! But my favorites are cats, ferrets, horses, and rabbits.


4) Genuineness--I'm absolutely real. What you see is who I am. I'm not phony in any way. If I ask how someone is, I say it because I want to know, not because I'm being polite. I don't understand some things I see other women do, like cattiness, or being nice to someone's face, and shredding them behind their back. I also don't use people for my own devices.That's just not me. With my friends, I tell the truth, with tact, of course, even when they'd rather not hear it. Because I want my friends to be genuine with me, too! And I don't lie very often. With Jay, I tell the truth with tact too. Well, to clarify, that tact in Dd might involve at times lying by omission, or figuring out loopholes to get out of trouble, or never letting the truth interfere with a good story. I have lied to my husband. But the thing is, most of the time, my stupid conscience and God's conviction won't give me rest until I go make things right. Sometimes being a Christian, and our commitment to honesty, really gets annoying! But I'd rather there be no secrets between us. And knows that, so he trusts me...for, ummm...the most part. ;)


5) Ability to see beauty and wonder--The delicate beauty of a flower. Gazing in wonder at a sunset. Life itself. Of course, it's not hard, living here.We have green trees wherever you look, rising like emerald spires. We have majestic mountains to the east and west. We have water everywhere, lakes, streams, waterfalls, rivers, and my favorite, our beaches. They aren't sandy, they're rocky, and full of life. Sea stars, anemones bigger than my fist, red, orange, and lime green tube worms, hermit crabs, and on and on. I never get tired of looking, and I always find something new. I never take these things for granted, or I try not to.

I celebrate everything, and it's easy for me to get lost in childlike wonder. I love holidays, like Christmas, and fireworks (the smiley face ones are my favorite) and birthdays. I've never gotten tired of Disneyland, especially loving to see little kids see their favorite characters for the first time. And I love singing, especially to God.  I don't think I've become jaded by the world. I'm a romantic; I believe in happy endings, I just think they haven't necessarily happened yet. I try to find the silver lining on bad situations. I hate violence. I don't understand cruelty. Well, psychologically I do, of course, but I'm also greatly affected by it. And I don't even consider watching it entertaining.


6) Intelligence: I am pretty smart. Give me three things to do, and I'll forget all three, but give me something to memorize, and I'll have that accomplished in five minutes. I'm an extremely fast reader, and I love to learn things. While I don't necessarily like boring shows where they show you factories accompanied by boring elevator music (yes, I've gotten several spankings for "gently protesting" Jay's choice of shows, but c'mon, they're boring!), I do love learning things hardly anyone knows. I love debating (I know you didn't know that), but I also have an extremely open mind. I like looking at conspiracy theories--some I think are well supported, some not. I love philosophy, and I like hearing new ideas. I love psychology, and knowing why people think the way they think. Social psychology in particular is absolutely fascinating to me. And I'm a seeker of truth, even if it wasn't the truth I started out to find.


7)Skills--You know Jack Sprat and his wife? That's how Jay and I are. I may be bad at just about everything he's good at, but I'm awesome (mainly), at everything he's bad at! I'm naturally a writer (when inspired, LOL), I'm a natural editor, I can type, I can research, I write an awesome resume, I keep our finances on track, I do any paperwork. I keep up on his email. There are times my ADD gets in the way. But without my skills, our household would NOT function. And the same goes for his skills.


8)Faith--My faith is everything to me, hopefully that comes through in my writing. Faith in good, faith in people, and most of all, faith in God. He means everything to me. It's not an idea to me, or a religion, He's a friend and Dad when I had none. My beliefs color the way I see the world, the way I see others, and the way I see myself.


9)Survivor--I've survived some pretty tough stuff. And even though sometimes I get discouraged, or even feel defeated, it's not usual for a former foster kid, especially one with my, um...unusual childhood, to be doing so well. It's not even the norm. A majority end up on the streets, in jail, in a mental facility, or dead. It truly hasn't defeated me. Instead, I try to use my experiences to help others. And entertain them, since my experiences tend to do that. My college roommates used to gather on my bed, and beg me to tell them stories. It's actually provided for some fun memories, and is a whole lot better than being bitter! :D


10)Cuteness--And not just because I look ten years younger than I am. Nor is it a sexy cuteness, I don't think.Think more Puss in Boots in Shrek or Dot in Animaniacs. For those of you that don't know, that's a show that used to be on, my favorite cartoon ever; if you haven't ever seen it, look it up on youtube, my favorite one is "Cutie and the Beast", massively hilarious--just DON'T use her as a role model or it will go VERY VERY badly for you... Okay, ADD moment over. Anyway, I am a master at the cuteness, tee hee. It's a talent of great power, let me tell ya. I could probably get away with anything, including murder, if I didn't have this silly conscience and values to worry about. Dang it! Such a great gift wasted... ;)

But I do use it sometimes. My dad used to tell with special pride everyone a story about one July 4th he had promised to take me out on his boat to watch the fireworks. Now before this, my dad didn't think I had an assertive bone in my body. This was partly because shortly before this, on my first time at Disneyland, I had let everyone in our extended family do what they wanted to do, patiently waiting for my turn to come. I let my dad know my desires (which were strong), but I hadn't pressed it, wanting to be mature, and for everyone else to be happy too. Then it started to rain, and since we'd carpooled we had to leave, and I was upset, since it was like I had patiently waited for nothing. My dad felt horrible.

This time, though, he was fulfilling a promise to me. Now, I LOVE being out on the water! I even got married on a boat up here. And my dad and I both shared a love for sailing in particular. Combine that favorite thing with fireworks...well, it just couldn't get any better than that! So on this happy weekend, we took the boat out from the lake, through the locks, and into the salt water. Then my dad told me the bad news. He'd forgotten the stern light, and we couldn't go out at night. Well, I wasn't going to take no for an answer! I wanted to go, and I looked for a way to solve this problem. So I put on my most pathetic face, and went up and down the docks, telling anyone and everyone how much I'd been looking forward to this, and asking if anyone had a stern light, or anything that would work, that we could borrow. Wouldn't you know, I got it! My dad was shocked!

So don't underestimate the power of cuteness. I have the power to put anyone under my spell, mwahhaha. Anyone, that is, except my husband. He's immune to my charms...drats!


There you go, my top ten qualities! And now you know me a lot better, not to mention I've made myself feel better. :)

So currently intelligence is telling me I've got to put my loyalty to the test, to somehow channel that passion I know I have to work on chores, because my faith in staying out of trouble won't last otherwise, and I want to survive tonight. I'd better go...