I Cry Foul--AGAIN!

Aren't there rules HOH's need to follow too? About openness and honesty? Really. Geez.

We needed to go to Costco to pick up some diapers and other things. I had already earned a spanking to be carried out when we'd return--for not being out the door by the time set. I have a more than a slight problem in this area, and Jay is cracking down. Literally. Every time. Ugh! And trust me, once you have consistency, it loses its appeal rather fast...

For those of you who follow my blog, remember how I said in one of my beginning posts (see here) that Jay and I have always argued a lot, about the most stupid things you can imagine? Well, that hasn't actually stopped since we started TTWD, it's just now I have to be respectful while arguing, and he has the last word, grrrrr (which I still see as totally unfair, anybody support me in that?!).

So our story begins as we're getting diapers, and we're comparing Costco's brand with the Huggies ones. I mentioned that, instead of getting the Huggies ones that we had previously gotten from there and had since run out, I wanted to try out the KS Costco brand. I'd heard good things about their diapers (I admit it, also partially because I like the leopard kitty on it). Jay responded, with a playfully superior tone, that what I was saying made no sense, as the box we had just gone through were KS, not Huggies. To which I replied (respectfully leaving out calling him a dufus), something to the effect of that I put them on him every day, and NO, they were absolutely Huggies diapers, not KS. Duh! Well, we argued about this for a few minutes, each of us growing more and more insistent. I know, I know, stupid subject. But I'm not going to give in when I know I'm right! And he'll never admit he's wrong when he CLEARLY is... ;)

Now we verbally spar a lot, but we've always had a way to shut the other up. If someone says, "to the eternity," the other person can't say anything back-that's the end of it. Make sense logically? Not really to us either, but it's just something we've always done. And yes, there's rules, like, no, you can't say it the first time you say something, only in the midst of an argument. So in the midst of an argument it eventually becomes a race to see who says it first. Of course, since we started this lifestyle, he thinks he has an HOH trump card...((rolls eyes))

In this case, he said the "to the eternity" thing right before I did, and usually I honor it! But not this time (after all, it's not like he'd been honoring when I'd say it lately!). So instead, I said, "Listen, I don't care what you say, I'm right, you are WRONG, and you can even check the box when we get home!"

My husband then looked around, and seeing no one in earshot, said, "Fine, Sweetie. You think you're SO right, let's shake on it. You show me when we get home, and if you can prove you're right, you get out of being spanked. And if I win, you fully get the spanking you earned, and later I get something I want." 

I hesitated for a moment. I'm pretty cautious about bets, especially when a spanking is involved. I've rarely said yes before, because I'm so cautious. And I can insist I'm right all day, but when it comes down to it, I don't always trust myself. Especially since Jay's been known to make use of loopholes I didn't think about! But right then, the idea of getting out of a spanking, especially when I knew I was going to win, was quite tempting! Besides, which, the spanking from the day before was kind of an attention-getter (which I expected, hence the previous Ferrets post), and I was still aching slightly from it. And the prize was big: immunity for anything up until after we got home!

So I agreed. And as our errands continued, I grew more and more sure I was right. So...full immunity for a few hours, what's a girl to do....Well, since I could wear my rebel horns and tail without fear, I admit, I couldn't resist, ummm...being a bit of a brat. Just taunting him a little about how I could do whatever I wanted until we got home, heh, heh, heh. And emphasizing "whatever" a lot, which, if you follow my blog, you know is a not-allowed word in our house. It usually guarantees a spanking. But c'mon, freedom can be intoxicating! And other than say the W word, I didn't actually do anything wrong! He's pretty lucky I was so well-behaved, tee hee!

Anyway, when we got home, I gathered up what I could carry of the baby's things. Jay had gone in before me (it always takes me longer to gather up stuff), and as I came in, he told me our son was hungry. So I attended to him for a few minutes, then I confidently went into the baby room to get the empty Huggies box. It wasn't there! I guess it got thrown into the recycling already?

I came out to where Jay was putting away groceries. "Ready for your spanking?" he smirked.

I lifted my chin. "I'm not getting a spanking, Honey. I'm right."

"So where's the box to prove it?"

"Well--I don't know. But-"

"Sweetie," he said a trace condescendingly, "if you don't have the box, you don't have proof. And if you don't have proof, then I win."

"But don't you remember they have Mickey Mouse on them--Ha!" I said, suddenly remembering something. "I took out one of the last remaining diapers out of the diaper bag. "See, darling, look!" I said, purposely imitating his tone. "Notice, if you will, the clear "Huggies" label on the back." I smiled at him triumphantly.

Jay shrugged. "That proves nothing," he said. "That could have come from a smaller package of diapers we bought, not the Costco one."

"We didn't buy any other diapers, except the ones while we were on the boat, and those have a Honeybee pattern on it. And you know it!"

"Sweetie, if you don't have the box, you don't have anything. I'm the one who decides this, and so far you haven't given me any proof. I'm sorry."

I was getting desperate. "Yeah, well, it's not fair! I'm right, and you're wrong, and you just won't admit it! And it's not fair that you're the one judging this bet, anyway, that's a conflict of interest."

"Yep, but I'm the HOH," Jay said, triumphantly. "I'm the judge, jury, and--" he drew the words out with playfully with dark meaning, "executioner."

Oh, here we go. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Not today!" I tossed back instead. Then I racked my brain, while he went to take a shower. C'mon, Kay, think! I checked the recycling. It had been emptied recently, and wasn't in there. I went to our camera, to get evidence from pictures. I also got plastic from the missing diaper box. And one of the new KS diapers to prove we'd never had one with that kitty pattern before.Armed with Exhibit A, B, and C in hand, I approached him when he came back out.

"I don't have the box, but I do have noteworthy evidence, Your Honor--" I began, slightly sarcastically with that last part. And then I proceeded to show him everything.

"It still proves nothing," Jay said, unmoved, smiling. "You need to have the box. And since you don't, you're out of luck."

Now I was getting a trifle irate. "There is no way that you can say, with all the evidence you have seen, and the memory that you have from changing his diapers so many times that I'm wrong. The only conclusion I can come to, Your Honor," I drew out the title even more," is that you know you've lost, and you won't admit it! And I'm NOT going to take that spanking, because we had a deal, and you know I'm right!"

I stopped to breathe. "And," I continued, very sweetly now, "the lesson you succeeded in teaching me is to never throw anything away. Because if I hadn't thrown it away, this wouldn't be happening--"

"So you're positive you threw it away then." His voice was incredulous. Rightly so, because I never throw anything away (well, lately with, um...motivation, I've been doing so more, though).

"I don't remember doing it, but you said you didn't, right?"

"No, I didn't throw it away," he confirmed.

"So I had to have because-" I stopped. Something about the way he had said those last few things suddenly caught me. I stared at him, then shook my head. Oh no, he didn't! "Where'd you put it?" I accused. "Is it in the garage?" I began to stomp off in that direction.

His matter-of-fact face erupted into that Cheshire Cat grin he does. "Actually, it's out on the porch," he said. "I ran in while you were dealing with the baby, saw it, and threw it out there when you weren't looking."

I stared at him in disbelief. Jay laughed. "You do realize," he pointed out, "I haven't spanked you."

"Well, yeah, but you never spank me immediately when you say, you always wait until bedtime. So I just thought you were doing that again." Why didn't I see this coming? How could I have not figured it out? Geez.

"Ummm...those days are done, Sweetie. If that box would have not been in there, you would have been getting your very earned spanking as soon as we got in the door," he said. Good to know. I'll make note of that for the future. Consistency...arrggghhhh!

"Just because you got amnesty, doesn't mean you could do what you were doing while we were out." He had that smile again. "So I made sure I made you sweat. For awhile."

Yep, that dirty, cheating (insert respectful yet appropriate word here) had hid it deliberately just to teach me a lesson.

I didn't get spanked, of course. But c'mon, how unfair was that?